That is a BUNCH of Bull.

Jody has been in Haiti this past week so the boys and I have been having a fun week! Laid back...without mommy trying to get much done. After dropping Jody off at DFW Airport we drove to the CentrePoint train station and rode the train to the Dallas Zoo. We've had a pizza movie nite, play time at the park, backyard swimming, ice cream sandwiches and a slumber party under a tent in the living room. We capped it off with a trip to Topsey Exotic Ranch as a way for my parents to celebrate my 30th birthday. We had SO MUCH FUN! I loved that ranch! I have driven by the sign numerous times throughout my life but always figured it was some run down ranch with a few antelope. It was actually beautiful! The scenery is beautiful and the animals so much fun! The boys loved it, too! Although they were sometimes frightened from the animals sticking their heads in the windows! (This could have been caused from me shrieking occassionally...especially when the emus came around. I think they are creapy with those little beady eyes.)

I thought the most exciting part was the giant bull we saw near the end of the ranch. He was so giant and his horns massive. It looked painful. This MUST be where they get the phrase, "a bull in a china cabinet", because this guy had NO idea the damage he kept nearly causing just because he would swing his head around to swat flys! My car was rammed a few times by this massive horned beast and we were worried the was going to crack a window! He was a thrill to be near...although when he got his head in the window his teeth were yuck...that was a little TOO near!

A thrill that illicited lots of laughter and screams of delight.

Other favorites included the adorable baby goats in the petting zoo that sucked Josiah's thumb, the zebras that chased desperately after the car as we drove off (hee-hawing all the way), the suprising nimble giant tortoise (Lucas' favorite) and the giant water buffalos that could swim so gracefully and would disappear under the water with only the hump on their backs showing. I did not know they would go under the water for SO long.

Fun! Much more so than the Dallas Zoo and much cheaper! =)

Here are some pics from our day at the Ranch:

I Love The Way You Hold Me

Do you ever feel like you are doing it alone? I do. Sometimes I think it is me against the world. Like I have to make life worth living, perform to get the most out of life. I strive to make myself and my family joyful...like I can work hard enough to get to IT. I am still not exactly what IT is yet but I fool myself into thinking that someday I will know when ever we have arrived. Whenever we are THAT family...you know, that family that everyone desires to be part of. I guess a cross between a great movie family and those families at church that seem to "have it all together". =)

It sounds silly in print but if I am honest...I still have those thoughts sometimes. But today, I am resting in the truth of God and not believing the lies of the enemy. I have the perfect family! We are FOR SURE in process and the process is sweetness and exactly what I want and exactly what I need.

I look back over just the past year of my life and the life of my family and wow. wow. wow! We have been held so lovingly by the Lord. I love the way He holds us! He knows the perfect way to love us and like a really good Daddy gives us abundantly more than we could ever ask or need. I am so thankful that He gives us what we REALLY want and need...opposed to what WE think we want. I am learning to trust Him. That He really knows best and really can be trusted to do what is best for us. Without my own interference.

Just a quick look back on my past year. This is how the Lord has held me. This is what I'm thankful for.

~Boys. Wiggly, snuggly, toe-lint picking boys.
~Being adored by the 4 most handsome guys I know.
~Travel...with all it's joys and hardships. What a privledge to see God's handiwork first hand.
~Seeing God's provision through the body of Christ.
~Dancing and singing with my family.
~Homeschooling and teaching my boys.
~Listening to Josiah & Lucas count.
~Watching Josiah perfect his coloring skills and the joy he has when he stays in the lines!
~A husband who is courageous.
~A husband who loves me...and ice cream! =)
~Friends. LifeGroup. Teammates.
~Little boys who beg me to make up stories for them before bed.
~3 Brothers.
~To be part of a movement of Christ that is transforming the world.
~Extended family.
~Rodeos...especially the ones in my living room when I get to be the announcer and watch my little cowboys.
~Laundry, dishes, diapers, messy rooms, grocery shopping.
~Hilarious co-workers.
~Reading.
~Watching 3 boys, a daddy and a dog wrestle and play.
~Candles & Fireplaces.
~Training schools & people who push me to go further than I think possible.
~People who forgive me...no matter what.
~God. Who never leaves us alone. Who draws me into relationship with him. Who desires to be with me.

When does it end? Every good and perfect gift is from my God (James 1:17). Can I stop being thankful? Stop counting my blessings? They are as numerous as the stars. You are so good.

Lord, I love the way you hold me.

(Our current fav family song: Hold Me by Jamie Grace)

A Beautiful Mess

Our trip to Haiti was much like the country itself...a beautiful mess. If you aren't careful, all you see is the crazy chaos, the mess and you miss the beauty of Haiti and the richness of it's people. Well, our travels were much the same. I would find myself focusing on the messiness of overseas travel with 3 small boys to an undeveloped country and missing the beauty. It is so easy to look down and forget to look up.

In Haiti, when you look down you see dirt.

Trash.

Filth.

Poverty.

When you look up you see blue skies.

Green trees heavy with ripe fruit and flowers.

Mountain peaks & ocean views.

On our travels, when I looked down I saw:

sleepy boys with no schedule.

rashes.

bugbites.

sweat.

dirt.

fatigue.

frustration.

confusion...what were we thinking??

When I looked up I saw:

Jesus.

Grace...enough for each moment.

Joyful boys...content with 2 small trucks, a few books & coloring supplies.

A husband, partner, & friend.

Teamates willing to love and help...practically & spiritually.

Clarity. Joy. Beauty.

Our 2 week trip to Haiti was quite a ride. There were moments I wanted to run away...back to Texas. My home. Back to organization, cleanliness and schedules...because I think that is the environment in which I thrive. But it's not true. I learned that I thrive...my family thrives anywhere! Anywhere we are all together...anywhere we are with Jesus and doing what He has invited us to do.

Everything on this trip was filtered in my mind...the "we may be living here someday" filter. I began counting the costs on this trip...seriously counting the costs. And not just, I will miss my favorite red chair. This trip was a reality check. I know no one is "cut out for this"...especially me. I DO know that God will not invite me and my family to something and not meet us there.

God met us in Haiti.

His grace really is enough.

For each moment. of each day. in Texas. in Haiti...especially in Haiti.

His grace was all we had...and is seriously, quite enough.